Girl Power or People Power? Women Don’t Always Need Women Mentors
I'm a Gen Zer who has benefitted from the guidance of men, women, even priests
Dear Coddling Movie Community,
It’s thanks to the Coddling project that I know
.Courtney and I met the thoughtful Gen Zer at a Braver Angel’s screening of ‘The Coddling’ movie.
We published her essay, How ‘The Coddling’ Movie Helped Me, and she soon went on to become a regular contributor to this substack.
In fact, she’s written some of our most popular essays including:
I'm Scared to Admit I'm Not Terrified: A Gen Zer reflects on the election
Welcome to My Social Justice High School: The bad advice adults gave me
“Why Do You Only Write About Gay Men? — My high school taught girls to fear straight men
Recently, Margo spearheaded a new effort, The Coddling Movie’s Conversation Club, because few things are better than good conversation.
Those of us who contribute to this substack aim to spread our message of antifragility, free speech, and hope to audiences far and wide. But we’re especially interested in reaching Gen Zers and their parents. After all, they are the ones most directly affected by the Gen Z mental health crisis.
We’re grateful to all of our subscribers and want to extend a special thanks those of you who support the substack by becoming paid subscribers. You’re supporting Margo, this substack, and our Impact Campaign, which has spread our message to campuses across the nation and beyond.
And for those of you who are considering becoming paid subscriber, we’re making it easy to take the plunge.
All the best,
Ted
Until Friday at midnight, subscriptions are 60% off forever!
You may have heard it said that most women want female role models in the workforce. When companies start gender-restricted clubs, or ongoing activism events, the want feels more like a need. Women need to see other women in a job, or they won’t succeed.
It’s entirely valid for a woman who has endured discrimination to gain confidence thanks to a female role model. But it’s wrong to prescriptively insist female role models are required for all women’s success.
Not only is the approach unfair to men, but it robs young women of 50 percent of the mentor pool. While there are many valid reasons for women to want role models of the same gender, not all women do, and insisting one approach is true for all women can lead to individuals’ diverse viewpoints being discouraged.
Do I speak for all women? No. We’re all individuals. But it’s important to share my perspective, because we’re all individuals, and someone might find my words useful.
Feminism vs. The Workforce
My high school, and the school I interned at for my gap year, believed women would automatically have a negative experience on a male-dominated team. Teachers sought to empower me via making our school’s art club girls-only. If I was quiet in class, teachers asked if I was afraid to speak because I was the only girl.
I understand why my teachers worried. Many women have been hurt by sexist men, and feel uneasy around men as a result. But there are good men out there. We’ve done a lot of work to reduce tensions between genders, and as someone who’s grown up in a less sexist age, I can say it’s paid off.
As Ted Balaker has said, disparity doesn’t always mean discrimination. Sometimes, a workplace team just happens to have more men (or women).
Many of the teams I’ve been on were small, composed of whoever we were lucky enough to find. Our gender ratio was at the mercy of fate. If we’d been required to obtain a perfect 50/50, we would have been doomed.
I’ve worked on teams with mostly men and mostly women. I’ve had male bosses and female bosses. Gender didn’t shape the workplace dynamics. Our camaraderie came from a shared passion for our mission, while tensions arose for reasons unrelated to gender — such as disagreements about how a project should be organized.
I’ve been forewarned that women can struggle to be taken seriously at work, but I’ve been encouraged by my experience. Even without a prestigious background, I’ve been invited to present at events alongside top psychologists in the gifted education field, and write for a newsletter alongside Ivy League professors and successful filmmakers (yes, I’m referring to this Substack!). Several career opportunities I’ve received came from men who recognized my skills and wanted to help me grow.
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