I couldn’t disagree with this more. Kids are curious about the world. To them thinking about what shape something is or what color something is becomes fascinating. In our ongoing conversation, we often talked about colors, number of items, etc. In books, we talked about the pictures, sometimes playing a version of iSpy. These things aren’t boring to children and encourage interaction and dialogue between parent and child. They also encourage attention to detail and noticing which helps in later school years. I’m not saying that children should be in any kind of organized curriculum, but these things are fun for kids. It also leads to open ended conversations with children. Kids have a natural curiosity about the world. As parents, we can encourage this and have fun while doing it.
Good point, Janelle. And I think you and Lenore share plenty of common ground. You know your kids best, and if the games are fun and they're learning, that's great. I think Lenore's more against the impulse to compulsively turn interactions into "teachable moments" rather than letting relationships breathe.
Kids are curious about the world and have naturally great observational skills (if you don't plop them in front of a screen). But I think the point of Lenore's post is that we as parents shouldn't feel the need to do all these "teachy" things to help along our child's development. Parents of generations prior did NOT emphasize colors/shapes/ numbers of anything to their preschool-aged children.
Parenting articles that suggest that we can and should act like a preschool teacher are just putting more undue pressure on parents. I would say parenting articles should emphasize parents teaching their children how to be good citizens, not how to "ace" preschool and kindergarten.
When I was trying to teach my daughter with Down syndrome, a really wise special education teacher told me to “teach, don’t test” and made me realize how annoying it must be to be constantly quizzed, especially for a child for whom learning is really challenging. Instead of asking “what color is that flower” I learned to say “that red flower is so beautiful” and that turned into fun discussions, similar to what I think Janelle was saying in her comment. And it relieved all the pressure of having to turn everything into a learning experience, because you realize everything IS a learning experience already. Just engage and be interested!
One thing I do agree with in the parenting article is to read books together. I didn’t do much “school work” with my 3 kids, but I read to them all the time and not only have they excelled in school (the oldest is graduating soon) reading together was one of my life’s biggest joys!
My colleague and friend did her did her research in child psychology in Guatemala where she learned about parenting. She found parenting. There was not focused on the children, rather the children focused on the parents and burned through observation. I was fascinated by the parenting methods of friends from Columbia, both highly educated, but again not very directive at all. Interesting to me was that they brought preschoolers with them to events with a lot of adults and the preschoolers were able to entertain themselves without needing much parental supervision at all. I was especially astounded when they brought their 5-year-old to a dinner at an artists home which had all kinds of very interesting gadgets. Yet none were in danger from a very active boy.
I couldn’t disagree with this more. Kids are curious about the world. To them thinking about what shape something is or what color something is becomes fascinating. In our ongoing conversation, we often talked about colors, number of items, etc. In books, we talked about the pictures, sometimes playing a version of iSpy. These things aren’t boring to children and encourage interaction and dialogue between parent and child. They also encourage attention to detail and noticing which helps in later school years. I’m not saying that children should be in any kind of organized curriculum, but these things are fun for kids. It also leads to open ended conversations with children. Kids have a natural curiosity about the world. As parents, we can encourage this and have fun while doing it.
Good point, Janelle. And I think you and Lenore share plenty of common ground. You know your kids best, and if the games are fun and they're learning, that's great. I think Lenore's more against the impulse to compulsively turn interactions into "teachable moments" rather than letting relationships breathe.
Kids are curious about the world and have naturally great observational skills (if you don't plop them in front of a screen). But I think the point of Lenore's post is that we as parents shouldn't feel the need to do all these "teachy" things to help along our child's development. Parents of generations prior did NOT emphasize colors/shapes/ numbers of anything to their preschool-aged children.
Parenting articles that suggest that we can and should act like a preschool teacher are just putting more undue pressure on parents. I would say parenting articles should emphasize parents teaching their children how to be good citizens, not how to "ace" preschool and kindergarten.
When I was trying to teach my daughter with Down syndrome, a really wise special education teacher told me to “teach, don’t test” and made me realize how annoying it must be to be constantly quizzed, especially for a child for whom learning is really challenging. Instead of asking “what color is that flower” I learned to say “that red flower is so beautiful” and that turned into fun discussions, similar to what I think Janelle was saying in her comment. And it relieved all the pressure of having to turn everything into a learning experience, because you realize everything IS a learning experience already. Just engage and be interested!
One thing I do agree with in the parenting article is to read books together. I didn’t do much “school work” with my 3 kids, but I read to them all the time and not only have they excelled in school (the oldest is graduating soon) reading together was one of my life’s biggest joys!
I definitely agree about reading books together, and "teach, don't test" is wonderful advice. I'll remember that one.
My colleague and friend did her did her research in child psychology in Guatemala where she learned about parenting. She found parenting. There was not focused on the children, rather the children focused on the parents and burned through observation. I was fascinated by the parenting methods of friends from Columbia, both highly educated, but again not very directive at all. Interesting to me was that they brought preschoolers with them to events with a lot of adults and the preschoolers were able to entertain themselves without needing much parental supervision at all. I was especially astounded when they brought their 5-year-old to a dinner at an artists home which had all kinds of very interesting gadgets. Yet none were in danger from a very active boy.
Very interesting, and it's so great to see kids entertain themselves in environments like that
The worst is when parents say "good job!" every time the kid answers correctly.
Agreed. And my son and I always roll our eyes at kid podcasts where the adult hosts enthuse about everything the kid guests do or say.